Can't

How often do you say "I can't"?  I can remember many for many years saying "I can't" to exercise, to wearing certain clothes or basically to anything that made me feel uncomfortable.

The "I can't" was a cop out - it was not having faith in my abilities.  There is nothing to lose in trying - BUT - there is much to gain.  There is a confidence in doing something you previously thought you couldn't - once done a swagger, an item crossed off.

And if you really "can't" then you at least tried, and no harm has been done.

Great Day

Every so often the stars align and everything goes your way!!!  Yesterday was such a day.

A day with meetings that began at 8AM and did not end until 3PM; with no time to go to the restroom or have lunch.  Every meeting ended between 15 to 30 minutes early allowing for such menial things as a bio break and a quick bite for lunch.

More spectacular was getting several Purchase Orders approved and processed to meet some very important deadlines.

Take advantage and be grateful to a great day and the stars aligning - may it happen more often!!!

Escape and Expand Your Mind

There is nothing more wonderful than to hold a book in your hands and turn the pages to see what else is going to happen.

I know that many people have e-books whether a Kindle, Nook or their iPad; but, there is nothing like turning that paper page, or marking your spot with a bookmark or peeking to see how many more pages you have to read before the chapter ends.

At a very young age my parents introduced me to books - as a teenager my favorite pastime was lying on my bed and reading a book.  I can remember reading Gone with the Wind by moonlight in 3 nights.  In fact, to punish me my parents would make me sit in the living room and converse with the rest of the family and not read.

Introduce your children and others around you to the power of books for history, for destinations and to fantasize or dream.  

It will soon be Valentine's Day and my great nephews Callum and Ryan can expect a book with their chocolate.

Take Stock

The first month of the year is almost over - have you taken stock of what you have accomplished this past month?

Too often we focus on the things we have not done and need to do versus taking a small breath and reviewing what we have finished.  You will be surprised at what you have completed this month and what is left then does not become insurmountable.

So take a moment - pat yourself on the back - and acknowledge all that you have done.

Slow Morning

It isn't always easy for us to slow down and "smell the coffee" as they say.  Every morning I either get up at 4:50AM or 5:50AM depending upon whether I am going into the office or the gym.

My day begins the same with making the bed, showering and if it is to the office, then in the car with my breakfast, lunch and newspapers or if to the gym then eat my breakfast, read my emails and off I go to my class or workout.

Every now and then like yesterday I had to be in the city in the early afternoon to meet a friend for a Broadway show and dinner; rather than start my morning with running to the gym, doing errands and getting home in time to shower, dress and get to the train station I gave myself a treat.

Breakfast, the Saturday newspapers and the news on TV.  How civilized.  Do it - you might enjoy a slow morning.

Catching Up & Getting It All Done

It was a good day - because everything that has been piling up for the last couple of weeks is now DONE.

Face it, we all prioritize our work and determine what needs to be done right away and what can wait.  We hope that those things that are "waiting" don't have to for very long; but, it could be a few weeks.  The choices: place a purchase request for the COO's conference room or a purchase request for departmental supplies - I don't think I need to tell you which one gets done and which one waits.

Therefore on a day like today when those thing that have "waited" gets done - it is good.

Start Your Day

How does your day begin each morning?  The way you begin your day will affect the way the rest of your day will go.

Make your mornings less stressful, easy for yourself so that you can set the tone for the rest of your day.  The more that you can prepare the night before - the easier your morning will go.

Go ahead and prepare your clothes, shoes and accessories the night before, have them either hanging in your closet or at the ready on a chair.  Have your keys, handbag or briefcase all together by the door - if you take your lunch have it all ready in the refrigerator so that all you have to do is grab it.

The less you need to do in the morning - the easier your morning will go - and the happier your disposition.

Switch It Up

When you work out do you do the same thing each time?  Walk on the treadmill, hit the elliptical, lift weights or take the same class?

Realize that your body becomes complacent and learns the routine - therefore, you are not expending extra calories or getting your best workout.

You need to "switch it up" and introduce new classes, programs that utilize different muscles and has you challenge yourself.  I recently started a Kick & Define class that is comprised of kick boxing with free weights and a body bar.  After taking this class I could feel that I had worked my obliques in ways that I had not in other classes.  Next will be a ballet toning class - I know that I will feel this in my legs and tush. 

So stop being complacent and "switch it up" - you will reap the rewards.

Instincts

Do you trust your instincts?  Most often we do not - we sit and rationalize everything out, tend to draw pros/cons lists and then select.

What if instead of doing the rationalizing, the pros and cons - you trusted your gut.  What does the pit of your stomach say to you?  Listen to your body - it will not let you down.

Too often we are adult about our decisions; instead, we would make better choices if when we felt the hair raise on the back of our neck - we would go someplace safe, if we saw a house we liked and it had good bones we would buy it.

Listen to your gut, follow your instincts.

Like Yourself

Do you like yourself as a person and an individual?  I don't mean do you like your face, hair or body - but, who you are and how you treat others?

What is great about being a human is that we have the ability to change and transform ourselves to be better than we were the day before.  Take a step back and look at the person you are - what can you do to make yourself a better individual?  

Each day become a better YOU!

I Have A Dream

Today we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr by having a day off.  Also all of us can state the beginning of his memorable speech, "I have a dream"; but, do you have a dream?

I could relate to Dr. King's speech - growing up I wanted to know that I had options, that I was not hindered because I was Puerto Rican or because I was a woman.  I wanted to break from the traditions of my heritage that looked at women as being a homemaker and mother; I was not opposed to it; but I wanted MORE.

I was fortunate to have a Mother who believed I could obtain that MORE.  I also knew that as a woman in obtaining the Dream I could not also have the traditional life.  

I believe that we should all have a Dream; that there is always MORE; but, also know what you may not be able to have when you decide to pursue your Dream and MORE.

Don't regret it - select the road that call you. 

Hibernation

We are in for a deep freeze in the next week that is supposed to last for at least the next five working days.

Those are the days that I would like to hibernate - and by that I mean put on some nice warm pj's, some socks and fuzzy slippers and wrap myself up in a throw.

It makes me think of having won ton soup and some hot chocolate; it is an indulgence and a dream.

Okay, it really is only a dream and I could never do this for five days and I would have a really hard time even doing it for one; but, the thought of it being cold and thinking of a way to stay warm is something to consider.

What is your quick dream or indulgence if you could.

Discipline

The word discipline too often is thought of negatively because it is paired with reprimanding.

Discipline can be positive - it is stating that you take control of situations and determine the outcome.  To be disciplined means that you set times, barriers and processes in place to manage a situation, an end result.

So be disciplined and be proud of it.

Because of You

Today my Mother will have been dead for 41 years - 5 years longer than she lived.  But, I don't look at it as a day to mourn; but, to celebrate the woman she was and all that she instilled in me in the 16 and a half years that she was there for me.

I am the woman, individual, person that I am because of her.  She taught me to speak properly, to enjoy reading, to dress impeccably, to be a professional and to manage a household.  She believed in education and told me that I could be anything I wanted to be.

From her I also developed my Pollyanna attitude that the "glass is half full".  I always make my bed in the morning, leave the kitchen clean every evening with all dishes washed and put away; and, the house is totally clean for the New Year.

She was a baker - as am I, she taught me to iron and it is something I still do every week; and the love of dancing at a party.

I am because she was.

Exercise Your Brain

I am sure that many of you feel that you exercise your brain on a daily basis while you work; but, you are not.

Exercise your brain by having it do a crossword puzzle or jumble - it makes you look and think.  Another way to exercise your brain is to have your hands and feet do two things that are opposite of each other - remember the one where you are rubbing your belly with your right hand and your head with your left?  How hard was that?  VERY.  But that is an example of exercising your brain.

Studies have shown that individuals who exercise their brain can delay the effects of dementia.  Let's keep alert and vibrant for as long as we can.  Take a few minutes a day and exercise that part of our body which we take for granted - our brain.

Watch and Interpret

When you speak to someone do you look at them to see their reaction?  With all the devices available to us we have lost our ability to communicate "live" and in person or to watch and interpret the reaction to our words.

Only a small percentage of communication is our words - the majority of the communication are an individual's response to those words.  Are they nodding? have they moved their chair away from you and crossed their arms? are they avoiding looking at you as you try to get a commitment from them?

All of the nonverbal communication that is being presented to you gives you the ability to adjust the words you are using to ensure that your message is well received and accepted.

Do not diminish the power of the non-verbals.

Transformation

Today I attended a program on change, adaption and transformation.  Very often we associate these terms with work; but, we go through this in our personal lives just as we do at work.

Think of this from a toddler to attending school, going away to college , starting work, getting married and having children.  None of them are easy - we view them as phases; why can't we see the changes/transformations at our offices or work as phases?

All phases are good - and - it would go better if you were an early adopter.

Spend Time

Enjoy any time you can have with a child, listen to what they say, play with them and get down on the floor so that you are at their eye level.

Children are open and will immediately tell you what they like and don't and how to do something.  If I child seeks you out - consider yourself blessed that they have chosen you to play with, snuggle with or give a hug and kiss.

Nothing is more heartwarming to me than when my great-nephew, Callum wants me to get on the floor with him to build his train track or when he gives me a kiss, hug and says, "I love you".

Change Mood

Have you noticed how music can set your mood?  It is very hard to be angry or upset when listening to an upbeat song.

That doesn't mean that music cannot make you melancholy because there are two specific songs that when I listen to them have tears running down my face - not because I am angry; but, because the memories it brings forth of some important people who were in my life and are no longer on this earth.

More often though music has me upbeat and happy to be walking into the office, tolerating the traffic and or just getting the old body moving.

Next time you are in not so cheery a mood - put on some music and see how quickly you have found a happy place.

Take Time

Yes, it is January and despite my telling you to not make a resolution I am sure that many of you decided that your 2013 resolution was going to be to work out more and lose weight.

BUT, will you still be at it after February or will you be like most people and quit after 40 days into the New Year?  How can you make it stick?

First, be realistic - don't think that you will workout every day; or schedule yourself for more than an hour of working out.  If you can, workout every other day; select programs or classes that you are interested in.

Most importantly, make this an appointment on your calendar just like you do any work meeting or doctor's appointment.

Positive Words

Do you listen to what words you use in conversation? to describe yourself, your job, your life?  Most often we just use words; but, we don't think of the effect they may have on us or on others.

Our natural tendency is to use words that have a negative connotation, I can't or don't and when we focus on our lives or ourselves we discuss what we don't like or want to change.

BUT, what instead of negative words we we used positive ones instead?  What if instead of saying I wish today was sunny - state how clean the earth smells now that it has rained.  Or pepper your conversation with words like happy, joyful, grateful, exhuberant.  Just stating the words brings a smile to your face.  Try it.

Disconnect

Disconnect.  We live in a time where we each manage more than one device; we have smart phones, tablets, laptops and we sometimes have them all running at once.  Barely five minutes can go by without our looking at our phone to see what messages or texts we have received.

But, how about disconnecting - when you drive; put your phone inside your briefcase so that you cannot respond to that email message or text.  Or the next time you are at dinner place your phone either in your jacket pocket or in your pocketbook so that you can concentrate on the food, the atmosphere; and, most importantly the company.

Let's enjoy each other and the time together.

Early Mornings

When you wake up and leave your home each morning, you probably just get in your car and drive, or head to the bus, train or subway in a rush to get there on time - whatever your morning routine is I am sure you are looking down.

Instead, can I entice you to look up?  Take a look at the sky in the morning - you never know what you will see.  This morning it was a perfect crescent moon shining bright against a black sky.  

Tomorrow as you walk out your door to head to work, take a moment, look up at the sky and appreciate the beauty of the moon before it goes to bed and you start your busy hectic day.

It is a number.  Too often we decide that our age - that number determines how we will act, be, think, etc.

Age is but a number - you are how you feel; vibrant, joyful, motivated.  Feel free to run, get dirty with your children or grandchildren - make snow angels or sand castles.

Don't let anyone tell you that because of your age you can not run, skip or hop - stay young in your heart and spirit.

Take Advantage

Whenever the weather turns warm during the winter and the sun is out - take advantage of it.

Go out and walk, relish in the sunshine and the clear blue sky.  You can breathe the fresh cold air; but, not feel that your are hurting your lungs.   Notice the spring in everyone's step as they enjoy this burst of warmness.

Know that spring is only 10 weeks away.

A Simple Hello and Smile

How do you greet individuals each day?  Do you take the time to say, "hello" with a smile on your face and in your voice?

Do you realize that you have the power to start your day in a great mood and to enable others to positively start their day too just by your "hello" and smile.

Try it and see how you can change someone's day and your own.

Half Full

You have an ability to determine how you will look at things and how you will deal with them.  When you look at a glass is it half empty or half full?  The half empty would be to look at life pessimistically vs. the half glass full which is to look at life positively and to accept what it offers.

A good example is our view of winter and lamentations of the short days - my cousin pointed out on December 23rd that the days were getting longer.  Sure enough they were and now I marvel that it is 5PM before the sun sets.

Learn

Every day we have the opportunity to learn something new - I don't mean anything big; but, small things that you might find interesting.

We are able each and every day to expand our knowledge, our minds and our abilities - take advantage of that.

It could be a small fact - here is one I will share with you; on January 1, 2013 the Emancipation Proclamation was celebrated having been signed 150 years ago.  The small fact is not that it was 150 years old; but, that President Lincoln did not sign it until 2PM that afternoon because his hand hurt from shaking the hands of many people that morning.  President Lincoln did not want his signature to be shaky as he feared people would read into that - when he finally did sign it was with a flourish.

Connect

Take the time to give someone your undivided attention when they are speaking to you.  In today's world we think we are being efficient because we do many things simultaneously speak, eat, type.

We are not necessarily more efficient; also, if we are speaking to someone we are missing many things they are saying.  Remember it may be the nonverbal clues we miss, what are they doing with their hands, where are their eyes focused, is there animation?

So as you go through your day and you are speaking to someone give them your undivided attention - that is a gift to them and to yourself as you may learn and hear more than the words are saying.

Permission

Do you take time for yourself? All too often we are doing something for other individuals; be it our children, our parents, our spouse, friends, work colleagues and the list goes on. Today I ask that you take 30 minutes a day for yourself. Give yourself permission to read a magazine, go for a walk, sit and drink that cup of coffee. Understand that if you take care of yourself for 30 minutes a day – you are more able to take care of others willingly and happily.

No More Resolutions

Today is a day where many folks make a New Year’s resolution – and it usually is something like: lose weight, exercise more or stop smoking. Needless to say this resolution may last a day, a week or a month; but, somewhere along the line you will not do it and you will give up. I am recommending NOT making a resolution; instead, let’s make a lifestyle change. Resolutions lead to depriving yourself of something – a lifestyle change enables you to incorporate something new into your life – you are adding; not taking away. So in 2013 – here is to your lifestyle change and the beauty is you can add to it every day, every week or every month.