In Honor

First let me preface this with have a tissue box near you – okay, now you can begin reading.

Today is a day that I become somewhat melancholy – 39 years ago my Mother died having lost her battle with lymphoma and leukemia. From that you can gather she was young – just 36 years old and the mother of three children, the youngest my brother who was 7 years old.

But, I don’t want to dwell on the fact that she was taken too young; but, instead to honor her and thank her because I am who I am due to her. My mother was a housewife, a mother and she worked outside of the home until we moved to Puerto Rico in 1968. She was the 5th daughter in a Puerto Rican family and looked and was very different than her other sisters, in fact, growing up she was told that she was retrieved from a garbage can. Every now and then I wonder if that story is true because her approach to life was very different than my aunts.

Mom was the ultimate optimist – the glass was forever half full and she truly made lemonade from lemons. One of my favorite dinners was oatmeal or elbow macaroni with ground meat; I never knew it was because we couldn’t afford anything else – Mom just made it an adventure. That is not to say my mother was not strict and expected the most from us. Since she worked she expected both my sister and I to help out with the household chores – at the age of 5 she put me on an orange crate and taught me to wash the dishes, shortly after I was also responsible for ironing things like my father’s handkerchiefs, undershirts, underwear and our own lingerie (remember the era).

There were rules like we could not leave for school until our beds were made; and, believe me it was rare that we missed school. My mother who was an actuary placed upon us the importance of education and doing well in school. She attended all parent/teacher meetings; and, if she found out that you were not doing well in something she found a way to fix it. In the second grade I was not doing well in reading – I could not remember what I read or what it meant – once my mother found out she had me read a book each evening and then tell her about it, who were the characters, what were they doing, was there a meaning to the book. To this day I love books and reading. And then in the 6th grade I was getting straight A’s except in one class – Science. Science scared me and upon hearing we would have a test I would instantly need to go to the restroom, but, would never ask my teacher. Therefore, as I took the test I would be distracted by having to go; and, not focusing on the test. Another one of those parent/teacher conferences and my mother reveals to my teacher my dilemma – from that time on my teacher would have me go to the restroom before every science test. Leave it to Mom to reveal my problem and fix it.

What else have I learned from her – I am sure some of the same things that each of you learned from your Mothers:

1. Always have on good underwear as you never know when you will be in an accident (I think we can all relate to that)

2. Celebrate the seasons – she decorated for each; to this day the décor in my house changes according to the month and what we are celebrating – next month there will be hearts around the house and in March you will find Leprechauns and shamrocks – I think you get the idea

3. Most importantly she always told me to earn my own money. She thought that there was nothing more embarrassing for a wife then to ask her husband for money to buy underwear. From that I have learned to manage my money, have good credit and to depend upon myself for creature comforts. In my next career or life I would like to support a program where I could teach high school girls that concept. Manage your money, understand it and don’t become a slave to credit

4. Lastly, keep a clean house – never go to bed with dirty dishes, do laundry once a week, be able to eat out of your tub (okay I agree this is strange). I sometimes wonder if she believed in Calvinism, “cleanliness is next to Godliness”. I love my home and that it is clean and you can always find what you need since it is in its place.

We are Catholics and my Mother believed that each of us has a purpose – on the day we were born, God decided the day we would die – He sent us here to do a job and when it was completed He would take us back. That thought always keeps me going.

How many of you saw the movie “The Sixth Sense” with Haley Joel Osment? Do you remember the final scene with his mother? If not, here are the words to that scene – something I relate to:

COLE
She said, you came to her where
they buried her. Asked her a
question... She said the answer is
"Everyday."

Lynn covers her face with her hands. The tears roll out through
her fingers.

COLE
(whispers)
What did you ask?

Beat. Lynn looks at her son. She barely gets the words out.

LYNN
(crying)
Do I make her proud?


I am my Mother’s daughter.

Hopefully you have enjoyed learning a little about my Mother. She was a bit of a character and in future blogs I will share her love of game shows, tradition and superstitions. Also, her lack of cooking expertise and how she made our lives an adventure.