Grateful for Another Year

Yesterday was my birthday and I turned 56. Although many of you may be questioning why I would willingly give out my age and/or admit that I am celebrating this age – I am very proud for every year that I live.

I have now outlived my Mother by 20 years – she died at the age of 36. I never thought that this would happen – so I am most grateful for every year that I have on this earth and that I am healthy, happy and comfortable.

Did my life turn out as I expected it to be? No, not at all. If anything it is very far from what I thought I would do and become in this life.

I knew I would go to college – that was always a given in my life. But, I always thought I would be a teacher – that was what my college degree was in, that is what all my college friends and sorority sisters were majoring in; so why wouldn’t I be a teacher.

Well, when I graduated in 1978 I knew I didn’t want to stay in North Carolina; but, instead to come back to New York where my aunts and my cousin and his wife lived. In 1978 the New York public schools were not hiring teachers, as a new teacher you had no seniority and were sent to wherever they needed you within the five (5) city boroughs; and, lastly I would be a high school teacher where the students would be taller and bigger than me. I distinctly remembered my High School English teacher, Miss Pat talking about an incident when she taught in New York where the students lifted the teacher in her chair and threw her out the window. I was not looking to re-enact the female version of “To Sir, With Love”.

Besides the physical concern and the distance travel to a school or neighborhood that was “sketchy” I would also need to get my New York State Teacher’s License as my License was from North Carolina; and, also begin my Master’s Degree in order to keep teaching. As for teaching at a parochial school it was well known that the salary would not be a good one. So off I went to work at Citibank because one of my Aunts was a Manager there and I had worked for Citibank each summer while in college.

So instead here I am today in the conferencing/collaboration industry determining what applications are ready for video; what challenges we may have in adding new devices (iPADS, smart phones, etc.) to my infrastructure, how do I keep information secure and how do I make everything 99% successful and reliable?

Having raised my younger brother and sister I thought for sure I would be married and have children. That did not happen either. I did come very close to being married; and, unfortunately he died of a cerebral hemorrhage; and, we had had discussions of having a child. Today I know that should he have lived I would never have become pregnant as an accident I had at the age of 11 affected my ability to get pregnant. Do I regret it? No, not really. I have a lovely niece and nephew that I am very close to; and, I am also now close to my nephew’s children.

So nor am I a grandmother at this age – but I am the “infamous” Auntie Toni (a la Aunt Mame). I am the Aunt who lets you have two (2) desserts in one day at lunch AND at dinner. I am the one who will introduce you to Disneyworld, take you on a cruise or go to a Caribbean island for spring break. I am still agile and healthy enough to take you to the amusement park, get on the floor and play with you or inflate a pool for you to splash in when it is very hot. Most important to me is that they know I love them; that they can come and talk to me at any time without being judged; and, if I am capable I will help them in any way.

The white picket fence house – no I don’t have that either; but, I do have a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath townhouse in a very nice quaint town. I can plant my flowers, change my flags to reflect the season or holiday and have a multitude of children at my door for Halloween “trick or treating”.

And I am very fortunate to be dating a gentleman who is intelligent, kind, handsome and loving. There is nothing better than to share your successes with another individual, to appreciate one anothers accomplishments and to learn from each other. Each of us needs our privacy and for that reason it is even lovelier when we get together to have a lively discussion on current events, share each others interests or just have a good meal with a glass of wine.

So although at 56 my life may not have turned out the way I dreamed of it 40 years ago – I think it is pretty good and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Be Happy with What You have Reaped.