Respect

As February comes to a close I would like to touch on a topic that perhaps many of us don’t think of; but, something we each demand: RESPECT.

Since I am Puerto Rican I was brought up being told and expected to ‘respect my elders’; this was done and given with no thought as to whether the individual deserved it or not. And there was no greater slight to an adult than to have someone disrespect them. This accolade is not just for Puerto Ricans; we all remember seeing the movie, “The Godfather” and a perennial theme throughout the movie was the respect of the Don.

Let’s face it we all want RESPECT; but, the question is do we deserve it? And, more importantly do we give that same respect to all individuals.

I have to agree that as young children you should be taught to respect ALL people – not just your elders. But, have you thought that that child also deserves our respect. To have said that means that we need to understand what respect means to each of us.

For me, respect is originally blindly given; but, after I know you it needs to be earned. What a dichotomy!! Respect to me is similar to trust – we each enter relationships, acquaintances and friendships totally open, giving and thinking the best of each individual. It is only through our interactions that we either give more of those attributes to the individuals or if they betray us, lie to us or generally lose their luster we start to take them away.

I am sometimes disheartened when I see people be disrespected for the jobs that they do. I can see you all saying, “What do you mean Toni?” How many of you have dismissed a waitress, a sanitation man or the grocery bagger? Why did you do it? Was it because the job they were doing was less valuable or important than yours? They earn an honest living just the way we do – because it is considered menial by society does not make it any less important. We have disrespected the individuals by not even acknowledging their existence.

Do you take the time to say “Hello” to the individual who gave you your coffee? Thank you to the cashier at the grocery store or to the gas station attendant? Acknowledgement of an individual is a form of respect for them and for what they have just done for you. Remember, that as adults we need to earn respect – you earn it by how you treat others. Too often lately I see more rudeness from individuals than kindness or respect. Do you remember the last time you held a door open for someone and they didn’t say ‘thank you’? This happens to me a couple of times a week. Every now and then I have this terrible urge to SCREAM to that person “you're welcome” and see if they are embarrassed.

I am a firm believer in “you reap what you sow” and respect is one of those attributes that when given to deserving individuals you will receive it back tenfold. You will be respected for the individual that you are, the way you treat others, your contribution to your family, friends and community.

RESPECT reminds me of The Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you”.

As the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin said, “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”.