This coming week a very wonderful woman will become 60 years old – but, she won’t know it and there will be no celebration. I want to honor and recognize my cousin’s wife and my nephew’s and niece’s mother, Eilish. She was the most wonderful person that I know and have known.
Why am I using past and present tense you may ask? It is because Eilish is in Stage 6 of Alzheimer’s disease. You may not have known that Alzheimer’s has stages – it does – there are a total of 7. What is worse is that this disease is taking more and more individuals in their 50’s and 60’s; it is no longer an older person’s disease.
The problem is that many of us don’t even realize that someone may have the beginnings of the disease. Our lives are so busy, we are so full of multi-tasking that our forgetfulness is just chalked up to juggling too many things at once. That is certainly what we thought with Eilish. She was a cardiac care nurse in the Bronx’s Montefiore Hospital who worked a 12 hour shift four days a week. When she came home she would then take care of her parents; many nights she would not get to bed until midnight – only to get up at 5 the next morning. You can understand how it would go unnoticed.
I should have know that something was wrong in May 2005 – Eilish and I went to Paris for 5 days/4 nights to celebrate my having completed my MBA at Villanova. Our first day there she did not want to do anything but sleep and have room service for dinner. The next day we bought tour bus tickets that enabled us to get off at various stops to tour museums, the Notre Dame, etc. She slept throughout the bus tour except for when we got off the bus to into Rodin’s museum or the Louvre where we fought the crowds for a glimpse of Venus de Milo and the Mona Lisa. The most excitement we had was when we took a dinner cruise on the Seine and listened to wonderful music and had a great meal.
I have traveled with Eilish before – in 1996 with her children we went to London and Ireland. We hit every major tourist spot in London in four days and Eilish was leading the way. She made sure that I had the Victoria & Albert museum, we saw the Rosetta Stone, we went to Sherlock Holmes’ home, Covent Garden, Harrod’s (where she states she has had the best Caesar salad) and then to Ireland for another 8 days of touring the countryside. She led us and kept up with her children on doing everything on the itinerary.
I have known Eilish for 42 years, I was a bridesmaid in her wedding and I lived with her and my cousin for a year and a half when my fiancée died. She was always one of my biggest cheerleaders and most generous in sharing her children with me. She let me introduce them to Disneyland, to Puerto Rico and to Europe – she was never jealous of the time I spent with her children and always made sure that they thought of me on Mother’s Day.
She has lived a life of giving and doing for others. Today we want her to live the remainder of her life unencumbered and peaceful. We are unsure if she remembers us; but, when I saw her at Christmas she smiled at me, her children and grandchildren. My cousin visits her six out of the seven days a week and I get weekly updates on how she is doing.
I will honor her by always being there for her children and grandchildren, reminding them of the wonderful woman she was and is.
Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease that does not only affect the individual; but, all those who know them. Please keep this disease in mind when you give to charities – let’s find what is there that affects the mind.
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