Living Alone Does Not Make Me Quirky

I was reading the Thursday New York Times and came across the front page article of the HOME section which was titled, “One is the Quirkiest Number”. This article was focused on the fact that 1 in every 4 American households is occupied by someone living alone; and, in Manhattan that number jumps to 1 in every 2 households.

Okay, that information did not surprise me – I can tell you that I know over 15 people who live alone – and, in fact my two next door neighbors live alone. What I took offense to is that we are quirky and our living habits are far from traditional. As I continued to read the article I got angrier and angrier as I think I lead a very normal life, as do my neighbors and the 15 plus friends of mine who also live alone.

The article cited a 20-something who does not hang up her clothes; but, rather uses her dryer as a closet and every morning she pulls out what she is going to wear out of the dryer – it further goes on to say that she has forgotten several times to pull out a skirt and has gone to work without one. Okay, I have a walk-in closet with built-ins. I never leave clothes in the dryer and every Friday I select what I will wear the following week, I iron it and the evening before I select my underwear, jewelry and shoes. It is rare that I change my mind on what I have selected.

It references a book, “Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone” by Eric Klinenberg who states that “living alone represents the self let loose” and that we tend to behave differently than individuals who do not live alone. We tend to run around naked, will eat at the kitchen sink, tend to leave under wear in the dining room, etc.

Are there people like this – I am sure there are; however, there are married people who also do quirky things, how many wives hate picking up their husband’s dirty socks, have dirty dishes sitting in the sink and/or loads of laundry to wash or clean laundry to fold? So why pick on those of us who live alone???

What those of us who live alone are not given credit for is that we manage to do everything by ourselves – what do I mean by that? Well, I can go on for days; but, I will just give you some of them:
1. All appointments need to be made by this one person – be it doctor,
dentist, haircut or car servicing
2. All errands need to get done: cleaners, bank, groceries, post office
3. No one else cleans the house, does the dishes, makes the bed, cleans the
toilet or does the laundry
4. When it comes to holidays or birthdays – as a single you are out there
buying the gifts and the cards
5. As a person who lives alone – if you get sick you need to make your own
chicken soup, make sure you take your medicine, change your soak drenched
sheets; and, think of ways to make yourself feel better

Now what I think happens is that those of us who live alone develop certain ways of doing things and certain standards. I like my home to be clean, the dishes washed and put away before I go to bed and the garbage taken out every morning.

I don’t believe in letting the laundry basket overflow although between the amount of clothes and underwear that I own I can clearly go two months without having to do laundry. I have enough dishes to not wash them for 30 days; but, instead after every meal I hand wash them and put them away. Every day I go through my mail, read the magazines and recycle them for my niece, peruse the catalogs then throw them out; and, put my bills together for when they need to be paid. There is no mail piling up on a table nor newspapers strewn throughout the house.

When you think of us who live alone – don’t think of us as “QUIRKY”; but, as individuals who for whatever reason have decided that we enjoy our time alone, our homes and the style of our lives which is really very much like yours; but, with no one else to share the good and the bad with.

Remember: We Are No Different – We Just Have To Do It By Ourselves.


One is the Quirkiest Number by Steven Kurutz, New York Times February 23, 2012

What a Week - Thank Goodness for the Weekend

WHAT A WEEK – by Thursday I wanted it to be over and for this long weekend to hurry up and get here. Don’t get me wrong at my age I don’t look for time to go any faster than it already does; but, for much of this week my time was not my own.

I know that this has happened to each of you – you have your week planned out and then circumstances beyond your control take over. That happened to me this week – I was focused on Thursday when I had to deliver my first web cast of our Executive Monthly meetings to over 120 Executives at their desk. But, what threw a curve ball into my focus was that my boss needed to deliver a presentation on that same Thursday to the Executive Directors on our organization’s Unified Communications strategy. UGH!!!

One of the great traits of my boss is that he is extremely collaborative and he likes to share his ideas with each of us and he is very open to taking our ideas and incorporating them into the departmental strategy. As a result of his collaborative work style many of us in our department worked for over 11 hours over two days with him to refine the presentation into a 20 minute time frame in lay man’s terms and not technical.

At the same time I needed to send out instructions to the Executives to ensure that their laptops/desktops were working properly and they would be able to see and hear the web cast. On the Tuesday (yes, Valentine’s day) I would send them a calendar invite for the web cast on Thursday morning. In order to do this and to continue to collaborate on the presentation I ended up cancelling two meetings.

Finally, Wednesday was here and I was going into Manhattan to attend a VCI-Group Board meeting with a fellow Board Member and to conduct a site survey -at the new OCI O offices on Lexington Avenue. Board Meeting went well and the site survey was uneventful - it was the phone calls I received on the train that made the day just a bit more stressful. The first call was from my Boss advising me that his presentation to the Executives had been postponed until next month which would enable us to then put a small video into it; the second was from our COO’s Administrator advising me that more people needed to be invited to the web cast and that she had forgotten them – could I add them. No problem as soon as I got home I would do it. And I did.

That evening I continued to respond to emails that I was receiving from individuals asking if they could take the web cast on their iPads and other such questions.

I finally head up to bed at 9PM and turn on the TV, and turn on the TV, and turn on the TV to finally realize it is no longer working. Many of you probably don’t know this; but, if I am alone (which is 99% of the time) I cannot sleep without the TV being on. It is my “white noise” – I have been known to wake up in the middle of the night when the cable company is doing maintenance upgrades and they are not transmitting a show. Luckily I had a small TV in the office and I swapped them out – but, my comment to myself was “Really you had to break down NOW”!!???

Needless to say I did not sleep well – I am always scared that I will oversleep, not hear the alarm – any number of problems. But, I woke up and I had no problem waking up, out the door and off to our event site. I am happy to report that all went well and everyone was thrilled with the web cast delivery. I was now able to breathe easier. YEAH!!!

This weekend I then focused on things that I needed to do – get my taxes done (Friday afternoon), buy a new TV for the bedroom (right after I found out that I was getting a tax refund). Saturday it was off to Aqua Aerobics where Abby gave us a grueling workout, then on to get my haircut. Sunday it was Zumba and Pam made every song just 3 minutes long and extremely upbeat – by the time the hour was over my head looked as if I had just come out of the shower. Then I did my errands: Good Will, grocery store, bank and cleaners – now I can go home and relax.

And tomorrow – long weekend; I will do my personal training with Jennifer and will get a manicure and pedicure.

So although it has been an incredibly busy week – I was able to focus on myself and getting things done this past weekend.

To a Day Off tomorrow and a better next week!!

You Have Permission

Do you ever want a lazy weekend? Do you feel that you can’t allow yourself to have one? It is not very often that my weekend isn’t jam packed with exercise classes, errands and preparing for the next week – I somehow feel guilty if I chose to just sit around. BUT, I gave myself permission this Saturday to make it a lazy day.

I had set my alarm like I do every night – set for 6:30 so I could get up and go to aqua aerobics; as usual the alarm rang and I turned it off to just lay in bed another 10 minutes – well those 10 minutes ended up being 30 and it was 7AM before I jumped out of bed. I still had intentions of going to aqua aerobics so I took my shower, put on my bathing suit and my sweat pants and turtle neck. Downstairs to make breakfast and I noticed that it was snowing – it was a light snow that had coated my car and the grass. It is at this time that I begin to wonder if I want to drive to the gym.

I know you are saying; "but, Toni it is a light coating no big deal"; except that in 1 inch of snow a few years ago I slid into a ditch in my neighborhood going down the various hills in the community. I decided that I would stay home and give myself a “day off”.

What is a “day off”? it is a day where there are no errands to be done, no reading or work to be done; basically, no deliverables either for myself, work or any of my family members. How did I pull that off? I am not sure.

A few weeks ago I had put together all my paperwork for my taxes including a spreadsheet that listed all my charitable contributions, the industry organizations I belong to; and, the costs incurred while searching for a job. Last week I put together my clothes for the next two weeks of work and earlier in the week I had done the laundry.

Since I daily keep up with the garbage, mail, dishes, etc. it wasn’t that I had anything major to do. I also reviewed what projects need to be done in the house and since last March I had the house painted, bought new living room furniture and later in the year had my bathroom re-grouted and sealed; I realized that there are no major house projects this year.

So I gave myself permission.

That permission let me leisurely read the three Saturday newspapers I receive, to watch the Saturday Today show. I read some chapters in “Tuesday Night Miracles” the latest book I am reading. I also watched several TV shows that I had DVR’d during the week and had not had a chance to see.

And, most importantly, I took a nap – it was only about 30 minutes but it was something I guess my body needed.

I don’t think that I had thought that the week was pretty stressful – it was all good and it was a great week; but, much is going on and what we will be doing will change the culture of our organization and transform the delivery of healthcare. We had presentations to our SVP and CTO and explained what we were doing – we also had a luncheon with our SVP where we learned more about the healthcare system and realized the importance of what we are doing. And although I was able to work from home three days last week I was on the phone until early evening.

So let me caution you – to have a great “day off” you need to have everything caught up in your life; otherwise, you will sit and ponder what you have to do. So,
1. Have your house in order the way you want it,
2. The bills paid, and
3. The garbage out.

Now put on those sweats, have a good book nearby and the remote control so that you can either watch a movie or those DVR’d shows, a comfortable pillow and a throw.

You have permission.

Staying on Track

To begin this is going out early because today is Superbowl Sunday and I am sure that each of you has a date with a television be it in your own home or someone elses. I will be at my cousin’s house with my niece, nephew, their spouses and my great nephews cheering the Giants to a win and for one of us to win the many Superbowl pools we have entered.

And; by the way, I will be working from home tomorrow as I am sure many of you will.

This week’s blog is on what are we doing and how are we staying motivated in watching our health, what we eat, how much we exercise? This is about the time that many individuals drop out of their New Year’s “fitness” resolution and revert to our old habits. Generally it has to do with the weather getting very cold and snow on the ground; however, this year we do NOT have that excuse. In the month of January the weather was almost 5 degrees warmer than it is supposed to be and we only had one snowstorm which gave us anywhere from 3 to 8 inches of snow. So really there haven't been adequate reasons for us to have an excuse not to follow a healthy regime.

Maybe you need a gimmick – are you competitive and need that edge to continue to stay motivated? I know that I do – I am highly competitive (STOP the snickering) and whether it is against someone else or my personal best I need something or someone to tell me how I am doing.

A Club Fit friend of mine recently introduced me to the Fitbit (www.fitbit.com) – have you heard of it? This device will track: number of steps taken, number of floors climbed, calories burned, calories consumed – should you set a goal for weight loss it will tell you how you are doing towards the number of pounds you want to lose. I have had my Fitbit for about a month – and I am always looking to do better than the day before whether it is the number of steps I took or the calories burned. It will also give you a badge every time you either climb stairs more than 10 times in a day or take more than 10,000 steps. You may think that each of these is quite doable – EXCEPT – try it and you will realize how much of our time is spent at our desk or in a car; sedentary. The Fitbit is $99; you can purchase it at a Brookstone store or order it through www.amazon.com.

You will appreciate that it will also note your activity by hours and minutes and categorize it as lightly active, fairly active and very active. Weekly it will email you a graph of how you are doing. What better way to stay motivated than that!?!

If competing against yourself is not enough then you can join a group and see how you are doing against the group. I have not done that; but, I am sure if I did I would be high-tailing it all over the place. I know that in a few weeks North Shore – LIJ will be kicking off a healthy initiative for their employees and the winner will receive a week’s vacation for two to Paris all expenses paid. There will also be gift certificates and cards to Broadway shows and to restaurants for dinner. I will certainly be doing my darndest to win one of those prizes.

This reminded me of when Pfizer did their walk program and you chose the trail you wanted: Appalachian, Great Wall of China, etc. and daily you would put in the number of steps you took – the goal was to do 10,000 steps a day and I would need to walk my neighborhood around 4 times each evening to make that. The gift was a $50 Visa gift card and if you did so many trails in a given period of time you could win multiple ones – I received 3-$50 gift cards. I also competed against two of my friends so you can see that healthy competition can lead to a healthy life.

The other item that the Fitbit will track is your sleeping habits. It will monitor how long it took you to fall asleep and how many times you woke up. I know that many of us suffer from sleep issues and this may help you get a real view of your sleep patterns and if you need to start to do something differently.

So whatever it takes to get you back on the bandwagon or to “up” your activity level – go ahead and do it, it is an investment in yourself and your life.

To Your Best Self.