The Magic of Christmas

Christmas is for children. To see the joy in their faces and the astonishment in their eyes as either they have a wonderful time with you or they receive an unexpected Christmas gift.

This past week I had the joy of seeing this magic up close with my two great nephews, Ryan and Callum. They are of different ages; Ryan will be 10 in a week and Callum turned 3 in August so you can understand that it is a bit difficult to find things that is enjoyable to both boys.

On Monday we went to Rockefeller Center and had breakfast with Santa. Ryan had gone last year and he was looking forward to it again. He bought his skates so he could skate on the rink underneath the Christmas tree. There is always a bit of a line while we wait for them to open the doors to breakfast; but, once inside everything is very efficient and the servers are extremely pleasant. Ryan immediately went for the fruit; and, instead of having hot chocolate with whipped cream he opted for tea. Callum who is still deciding what he will eat had his cereal and played with his etch-a-sketch.

Next came the platter of scrambled eggs, French toast, sausage, bacon and hash browns and there was Ryan tucking into a good helping of scrambled eggs, bacon and hash browns – he was trying to eat fast so he could go skating. But, he had to wait until Santa came. Before Santa there was his elf giving out stuffed elves and reindeers; Ryan was grateful and Callum was into his etch a sketch as he told the elf, “Me color” and turned down the gifts.

Then the BIG GUY came – Ryan will always ask if it is the “real” Santa. He still believes in Santa Claus and our response is that the real Santa is very busy getting ready to deliver presents on Christmas day; but, that many people help Santa and are his representatives on Earth. He was happy to let Santa know what he wanted and now to skate on the rink.

We put on his skates and onto the rink he went – happy to be skating on one of the most famous ice skating rinks in the world at the most magical time of the year. Meanwhile, Callum continued with his etch a sketch and being a very good boy at breakfast.

When we walked back to the train station Ryan wanted to know if we could go again next year – he thanked me for having a wonderful time and for my taking him. That is a Christmas gift in itself to me.

Do we know how to torture the boys for Christmas or what?? Both Gerard with the boys and I arrived at my cousin’s house at 10:30 for brunch – Ryan was told that we could not open the gifts until after brunch. Well we didn’t eat until 12 noon – we cleaned up the brunch dishes and then started giving out the gifts.

It was great to watch Ryan’s face as he opened gift after gift to see that everything he had put on his Christmas list he received, even a model of the Titanic. Callum liked ripping the paper and was most excited about seeing his “Blue’s Clues” shirt with his name on it and a Leap Pad. But that was it – he preferred being a boy and doing some rough housing and showing his personality.

Each of us received items that were on our list; as well as, things that were a total surprise. Our dinner was wonderful – it was a traditional Puerto Rican meal and we had a good time as a family playing a game, setting the table, eating together and then wishing each other well as we left for our respective homes.

Everyone said “thank you” for their gifts; including Callum, and I am always proud when the boys show their respect and manners.

I hope each of you enjoyed your holiday, carried the spirit of the season in your hearts; and, most importantly, captured the joy of the season like my great nephews did.

Is It Christmas Yet?

This time of year it is supposed to be frenetic – the malls are supposed to be packed, I should see Christmas trees on everyone’s car roof and tons of little kids lined up to see Santa.

According to all the newspapers and television reporters this is turning out to be a banner year for holiday shopping? Where???? I haven’t seen it here in New York? Or do I shop at the wrong time? Okay, granted I finished my Christmas shopping by Halloween and I did 99% of it on line so I would not have to deal with the crowds; but, there is the occasional item that you have to pick up at a store.

For example, we did “Adopt-a-Family” at work for the holidays. We received information regarding our family and what they needed. A couple of Fridays ago after my workout I went to Kohl’s – it was 9:15 in the morning and in the parking lot I could count the number of cars that were there. I quickly did my shopping running down the list of what each child needed in clothes and then I added a toy; for the mother bathrobe, pajamas, slippers and then a hat, glove and scarf set. Now to checkout – I usually dread checking out at Kohl’s because there is always a line; BUT, “what to my wondering eyes do I see” an empty checkout line. I was the only individual on the line. As my niece would say, “WOO HOO”.

But, this is what I mean – Kohl’s has decent prices, they were running a sale; AND, I also had coupons which were sent to everyone within this store’s radius to use. I have been there in previous years for holiday shopping and it has been a ZOO. The line is unbelievable and you can stand in it for 30 to 45 minutes to pay – which I do not think is worth it. So what is going on this year?

Last week I got a small sense of crowds and lines when I went to Pier 1 to pick up some holiday forest potpourri and candles that Siobhan wanted for the house, we were having the family and friends annual Holiday party. There was a small line (3 people ahead of me) at Pier 1 for checking out and the store clerks were quite busy with customer inquiries – that was the first that I had seen crowds and a line.

I was in Home Depot about 2 weeks ago and again I was able to find what I needed and to go to the Self Service checkout and walk out in minutes – but, once more I did this during the week and during the morning. I have noticed that as I drive by on Saturday and Sundays they seem pretty full.

Another parking lot that has been very full is Barnes & Noble. I have been there the last couple of Saturday and Sunday mornings. I usually do two (2) things while I am there – look for a book (James Patterson’s “The Christmas Wedding” was my latest purchase) and I will treat myself to a bagel and a venti non-fat latte after my hour workout. The parking lot there is a mess – then you have people cutting you off. Is everyone getting a Nook for Christmas? Since when have bookstores become so popular??

And finally what to me is a sign of the season is everyone who has gone to purchase or cut down their Christmas tree. Usually it starts on Thanksgiving weekend when I notice the tree on the roof of people’s cars; but, honestly this year I can count on one hand the amount of cars I have seen with trees. Are people no longer putting trees up for Christmas? Has it been too warm to think about cutting one down or selecting one from a lot to take home? With the temperature hovering around the high 50’s/low 60’s I can understand that a Christmas tree, hot chocolate with marshmallows and “A Christmas Story” on television just doesn’t feel right. We are supposed to have cooler weather for the weekend – I am just wondering if this last week before Christmas everyone will go into panic mode?

The weather should have nothing to do with how we feel for the season. This is a time of giving, of wishing each other well and of contemplating who we are and what we have done. I lived in Puerto Rico for six years and even without snow Christmas was a very sacred and celebrated holiday.

I hope that the Broadcasters and newspapers are correct and that people will enjoy a better time this holiday season. Perhaps we have come to realize that our actions and what we feel in our hearts is greater than any gift we can give. At the same time, don’t lose the traditions that make the holiday yours and your families.

To all of you who read this blog; Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and Happy Kwanzaa. May the riches of the season be yours.

The Power of Music

I love music – although I have to admit that I do not have a love of all kinds of music – I tend to stick to one type of genre but I do try to be accepting and willing to receive all types.

Why do I bring this up – I do so because there is POWER in music. Have you ever felt it – have you ever used it to give you that POWER? I know, you are thinking – “Toni has been hitting that eggnog a little too hard”; but, I haven’t - - hear me out. Last Sunday I left for Zumba at 8:45 and class begins at 9:15; I have to admit that I am not always motivated to get up, get ready, eat breakfast and all the other things I do before leaving the house for class in the morning. There are times when I just want to lay in – but, I don’t.

The first 5 to 10 minutes of class can be a bear; BUT, then the music kicks in and the beat challenges me to start moving, doing jumping jacks and TRXing. All of a sudden I am soaking wet and waiting for the next song that will have my heart pumping and me jumping. That is what I mean about the POWER of music – the ability for it to transform your mood, to get you moving and to transport you as a being to a time when you are capable of anything.

A couple of weeks ago there was an article in my local newspaper discussing ways to navigate through the mall while doing your holiday shopping. It gives all the rationale information like:
1. Have protein and fiber for breakfast
2. Dress in layers
3. Take cash, not credit cards and make it large bills (you hate breaking that $50 or $100 bill)
4. Shop for the lower priced items on your list first because once you buy that big ticket item the rest of the dollar signs have no significance

And the one that surprised me the most:
5. Listen to your own iPod and not the mall music.

Why you wonder? Well accordingly your iPod probably has very upbeat music that you probably use when you workout. The Mall is circulating Christmas Carols or Holiday Music which actually happens to be a little depressing – as it said, listen to the lyrics: (1) “I’ll be home for Christmas if only in your dreams” or (2) “All I want for Christmas is you”. And, as you listen to them you become melancholy, depressed and tend to spend more money while you shop. Now there are a few songs that are upbeat like, “Jingle Bell Rock” or “Here Comes Santa Claus”; but, they are somewhat the exception.

I use music to get me through things – I listen to the radio each morning as I drive to work; I like a local station Fresh 102.7 because there is nice banter between the two DJs, there is a trivia game (you know I am nuts about useless information) and they will talk about their everyday lives while playing the current hits. Currently on the way home I am listening to Holly Music on Sirius XM – yes, the music is a bit mellow; but, it enables me to relax and not get on my road rage as I drive home sometimes in traffic.

It is true Holiday music can evoke some melancholy feelings and it has you think of people you are missing or hard times that others are going through. There is one song that absolutely always has me sobbing when I hear it “The Red Shoes”, this is not just a song, but, it is also a book and a movie with Rob Lowe. The story revolves around a little boy whose mother is dying and he wants to buy her these red shoes for Christmas so that she wears them when she meets Jesus. My heart always breaks (as it is now) because I can remember my Mother during her last Christmas with us all of us knew that there would not be any other celebrations with her. So no matter how happy or angry I am when that song comes on tears are streaming down my face and I am hoping that the drivers near me can’t see.

At other times I like to listen to Broadway, Motown or Frank Sinatra era music all of it to ramp down my day and to have me enter my time at home – my haven. What do you do to help you re-enter your other life away from work? I know when I rode the train home from the city some folks would read the newspaper, book or fall asleep – each took them away from work; and, hopefully placed them in a calming mood. There is a need for us to transition from one aspect of our lives to another.

The key is what tricks or habits do we use to take us from our work persona to our home persona, or put you in a mood to face the world or to give you that bit of confidence – nothing like “I am Woman” to make you feel superhuman.

Use music to transport you, transform you and empower you.


1 I’ll Be Home for Christmas – Kim Gannon, Walter Kent and Buck Ram
2 All I Want for Christmas is You – Mariah Carey

Recapping the Year at Work

Recapping the year – that is what the majority of us are doing right now at our jobs. What did we accomplish? How did we spend the budget? Did we overspend – what was not delivered that was on our 2011 Objectives?

I would dread these next few weeks when I worked for enterprise organizations. To have not used up all your budget money was a “SIN” – I can remember the year that we bought $60,000 worth of projector light bulbs in $1,000 increments so that we had no extra money in the budget. Why couldn’t it be viewed as we successfully managed that year’s budget and the excess would go into next year’s pot?

And what if we had gone over the budget? There we sat writing explanations as to why we had exceeded it that year. Did it have to do with acquiring a new company and offering the same services to them that we had? Did it mean that we had to implement new infrastructure in order to communicate to every colleague throughout the world? That does not come cheap.

But, WAIT, what about those year end performance reviews? They would be done in December although raises were not effective until April 1st (yes, a Fool’s Joke); but, more importantly nothing was done with the review except to have it filed away by Human Resources to say that it was accomplished. I cannot tell you the hours that I have spent writing performance reviews that had some meaning and relevance to the individual so that they could grow from the experience. All to have someone say to you, “Okay, I agree – how much of a raise am I getting?”

Next would be documenting the department’s accomplishments. I would spend days doing a power point presentation listing all the accomplishments of the department per services offered – categorizing them as to savings, vendor management, customer service, new initiatives, etc. and giving success rates on all of our services. I sometimes wonder if any of that information went anywhere or did it get lost with the next incoming request?

I would much rather look at life in a period of time that is less than a year or view it through the life of a project. Why can’t we review the failures immediately and learn from them; and celebrate the successes as we finish and accomplish them? Think of this as an opportunity to train and coach; just like we do with our children – when they are small and do something wrong we speak and point it out to them immediately; likewise, when they do something good we acknowledge it right away. Feedback should be all the time and not just once or twice a year. How else would people know how they are doing?

Also, each project is different and there is a need to understand what individuals excel in and what they are a bit challenged with. I am not saying that people should not be given challenging tasks; what I am saying is put in place all the support mechanisms they need to be successful.

I bring this all up because on Monday my boss asked me what we accomplished this year in the video, collaboration and Unified Communication space. He was not looking for a major power point presentation or a long word document on every project, service, etc. He wanted just four (4) major bullet points that he was putting into an email message to our Management. How civilized – it was an email message and it was bullet pointed – much easier to read than power point presentations with graphs, numbers, etc.; and, more importantly only the most meaningful items were highlighted.

I have not been through a formal performance review process although I am sure that is coming up soon; but, I can tell you that I receive feedback constantly and not just from my Manager; but, also from his boss’. How wondrous to be told by my Senior Vice President that I did a good job or that the playbook was outstanding. It makes this not a job; but, as my CEO stated this is our responsibility and obligation. We would all be amazed at what great lengths people will work or perform with just some small praise and acknowledgment of what they do.

Next time someone does a good job – tell them so IMMEDIATELY!!!

Enjoy the Time

Well, the turkey is done and the real countdown to Christmas and the holidays has begun. BUT, first let me tell you how last Tuesday went. FLAWLESSLY. The meeting tested fine on Monday and Tuesday morning – don’t you usually want a bad dress rehearsal for a good show?? On Tuesday morning at 9AM we tested again and all went fine – then we finally connected at 12 noon and were staying up for the full program. The audio, the webcast and the video tape of our CEO all were transmitted and received well. We received many accolades from our Executives and the Board of Trustees – now it was easy to enjoy Thanksgiving.

I know the calendar always fills up quickly for this season – I already have a holiday party with family and friends, the work holiday party and Breakfast with Santa for the boys on my calendar. I also want to take a Saturday and just walk around the city and look at the decorated store windows and stop at the craft booths in Bryant Park and Grand Central Station. I know I have already completed my Christmas shopping; but, there are always birthdays and next year’s Christmas (yes, I can hear you all hissing at me)!!!

It was great to have Wednesday to relax although I did go to the lab to have my blood drawn; we (my obgyn and I) are trying to figure out when I will be totally finished with menopause given that last year I was only 10% into it. Yes, I am 56 – so why isn’t this over yet??? And I got my workout in with Jennifer – so I didn’t feel too guilty about Thanksgiving dinner.

On Friday I began decorating the house for Christmas – I do one room at a time and I aim to get the upstairs bathrooms and bedrooms done in a half a day. That usually isn’t too difficult. Next are the powder room downstairs and the kitchen as that can go fairly quickly. Oh and I took Liz’s “kick butt” Zumba class which is dancing with high aerobics intertwined – I always feel as if I have done an outstanding workout when I finish her class. Since it is on Friday at 10:15 – it isn’t very often I am able to take it since I workout with Jennifer at 8AM on Fridays; but, this Friday Jennifer couldn’t meet with me so it was an opportunity to take this class. And then I high tailed it home as I did not want to be out on the road with all those Black Friday shoppers. Do you realize that it has been determined that you really do not get that great a deal on Black Friday??!!

I decided that Saturday I would focus on the living and dining rooms as that required putting lights on both windows – but, first it was to Abby’s aqua aerobics class. I can tell you that Abby’s class is always difficult if she is looking to lose a few pounds or to reduce the jiggling of her arms - I don’t mind as I am always focused on parts of my body too. I want to feel as if I have earned the pain I feel the next day.

So Saturday afternoon I went through the lights and the various decorations and got them all set up. I had Christmas shows on television. Yes, I went through the TV Guide and am DVRing all those sappy Christmas movies and listening to HOLLY on SiriusXM in my car. I am the woman driving next to you singing at the top of her lungs and bobbing her head around as I zoom in and out of traffic.

Saturday evening I had the lights down low as the Christmas lights in my windows clicked on with the timer – it gives the house such a nice warm glow. I also have the Slatkin balsam candles which makes it smell like Christmas throughout the house. But, I have to admit that it is a little difficult to be decorating for Christmas when the temperature outside is over 60 degrees and people are running around with light jackets on.

There are lights in each of the upstairs bedroom windows which go on automatically at dusk and then turn off when the sun rises – it just makes everything warm and inviting; no there are no apple or pumpkin pies baking; but, I do indulge in a small glass of eggnog.

It is only during this time of the year that eggnog is available and I have always enjoyed drinking it. And being Puerto Rican we drink something called “coquito” which is Puerto Rican eggnog made with rum. Unfortunately, I cannot find it here in New York so I usually buy various types of eggnogs at the liquor store and take them to my cousin’s house to try them out. At home alone I only drink the non-alcoholic type. Can you believe that today I found one that is low fat – YEAH!!!

I enjoyed this weekend because after Thanksgiving Day the rest of the weekend was mine to do with as I wished. I was able to get three (3) good workouts in, decorate the house and pull out the Christmas cards to write next week.

I hope that each of you enjoyed your holiday with your family and friends. Find some time for yourself and enjoy the spirit of the season.

Waiting for Wednesday!!!!

Have you ever looked forward to a particular day because you knew it meant that things would slow down and you could rest a little? That is the way I feel right now and my target day is: Wednesday, November 23rd.

How did I come up with that random date – well first this past week has been quite hectic. I originally was going to work from home on Monday since I only had one conference call on my calendar. Well that didn’t work out as on Sunday evening I received a calendar invite from my boss for the presentation of our Unified Communications Strategy to our SVP and CIO for Monday at 2:30. Good thing I had already picked my clothes out for the week – I just had to pull out jewelry and shoes and I was set.

Without a doubt I had to be in on Tuesday as I had a few meetings and we had an “All Hands” open house that we needed to attend. No problem there – it was good to have met other individuals in the organization.

Wednesday – Hallelujah. I worked from home and caught up on some projects (aka laundry, post office), had a workout session with my trainer and was able to sleep an hour later than I normally do. It was a slow day with only two (2) meetings on my calendar so there was plenty of time for me to review projects and do updates.

Thank goodness because on Thursday I was up at 4AM as I had a meeting that began at 6:15 at the hospital to go over the audio visual requirements for the new West Wing. Thankfully, these meetings are few and far between; BUT, would it kill them to serve coffee and bagels? I don’t usually stop at Starbuck’s at that hour as I am too concerned about finding a parking spot and making it to the meeting on time; but I did this time. What a day – I was in meetings from 6:15AM until 3:00PM driving between the hospital and my office. The worst is trying to find parking spots – UGH – I sometimes lose up to 15 minutes looking for a place to park. Usually on days like this when I get home I am a blithering idiot and can not even stay awake through Jeopardy – it is one of those when I say, “Oh, it is 8:30 and I have been asleep on the couch for over 2 hours – I guess I should go up to bed.” Then of course I am awake at 11PM ready to start the day anew – raring to go. Not this time – I was wide awake until a little after 10; have no idea what I am doing to my body or how it is reacting.

Friday, Friday!!! Working from home again; although I did do my 8AM workout with Jennifer. I had to stop by the grocery store on my way home as I hosted a Cutco party that evening at my house to help my niece, Siobhan make her $6,000 goal so she can get her promotion. We made appetizers for those individuals who stopped by and then “anal retentive” me cleaned up before going to bed.

Saturday was jam packed with going to the gym in the morning – need to establish those routines again and stick to it. That is the only way that I can ensure that I do not gain weight with the holidays and the various birthday celebrations that began this weekend. Saturday I was off to my cousin’s to celebrate his son’s birthday; however, we were also celebrating his and he just didn’t know it. Before heading to their house I stopped by the bakery to pick up the cake and to place our pie order for Thanksgiving.

Although Sunday is a day of rest – it isn’t for me. I was off to Zumba this morning at 8:45, then to the cleaners, the salon for a manicure/pedicure and to the grocery store. Today I will put out my clothes for Monday and Tuesday and then try to relax watching the football games and screaming at the teams if they don’t make the point spread.

Monday and Tuesday of this coming week will be my first Executive event that I will have responsibility for delivering. There will be close to 100 people either in person, on the telephone, via video or watching the webcast and I need to make sure it works flawlessly.

So you can see how I approach this coming week with some trepidation and waiting to take the proverbial sigh when it is all over.

After having written this I need to relax – as you can see it was a whirlwind – but it was fun.

I want to wish each of you and your families a “Happy Thanksgiving”.

Getting Things Done

How do you keep track of everything you need to do; OR, more importantly everything that you did do in a day?

Given our lives it is very easy to think that we have accomplished NOTHING in an entire day. We can go around moaning and groaning that the day got by us, that we had too many interruptions and that “something came up” as it always does.

I hate the feeling of not having accomplished anything in an entire day and to counteract that feeling I make a list. Every evening or first thing in the morning I will make a list in my journal of all things I need to accomplish whether it is work related or personal. My list may read something like:

1. Update boss on web ex, bridging and shared tech
2. Message to Pat re: Saturday
3. Review Conference Room proposal
4. Get gas
5. Fold laundry
6. Call Dr. Haas for November appt
7. Message to Bart & Kim re: November Finance Meeting

And throughout the day I will update it as more things come to mind that I need to do.

Why do I make the lists? Well, for one thing I am 56 and with that age comes a certain amount of forgetfulness. We have all gone into another room to get something and then not remembered what it was we went in for. Making a list enables me to capture those things I need to do or inform others of that day and not have that feeling of “what did I forget”. Also, at the end of the day I want to feel that I finished something - my job can be very nebulous because it is project based and those things take time to come to fruition – so the one way I can feel that I have finished something is to document the small steps.

This may be childish but upon having completed something I then give it a red check mark – at the end of the day I can see if I have finished everything or if I need to carry it over to my list for the next day. Believe me there are days when it appears the whole list is being carried over – that is okay – they are few and far between and there are reasons for the grand interruption in what I consider to be either my very “anal” or “OCD” life.

I also will put time aside on my calendar to complete things – whether it is a project or message that I need to get done and would prefer to do without interruptions. I find that if I put aside time on my calendar to do something I am more likely to focus on it and do it. For example, my entire yearly workouts are in my calendar and propagated onto my Blackberry.

Now, those other things – even my weekends have a sense of purpose. I am one of those individuals who hates to go out again once I am home from completing errands. So Friday mornings once I am done at the gym, I will generally stop by the cleaners, bank and grocery store before coming home. Likewise, if I need to do errands on my way home I will do them all before heading home – on Wednesday, on my way home I got gas, went to the Post Office and stopped by the grocery store.

This past Sunday I blocked out time in my calendar to go to the gym for my Zumba class, and then to stop by the Mall to visit Hallmark’s to buy individual family Christmas cards. From there I will stopped by the Cleaners to pick up my clothes and to drop off some others, then to Barnes & Noble to buy calendars for Christmas gifts to the family and friends – and now home. I will be out of the house at 8AM and not back until about noon; but, everything will have been done and now I can relax for the remainder of the day.

Red check marks will appear on my journal and on my Christmas list as I mark off the calendars I have bought for individuals. Tonight as I send this out to you I am reviewing the tasks that I wanted to accomplish this weekend and I can feel a sense of peace that I got them all done.

Remember: Take Pride in Completing the Small Things.