Rememberances of My Mother

Forty years and sometimes it still feels as if it was just yesterday. This past week my Mother will now have been dead 40 years – she is dead longer than she was alive; and, yet in the little time we had together she made an indelible impression upon me.

I am my Mother’s daughter – even down to my figure. My Mother was not tall 5’2” and I am a little bit shorter than that; however she did have hips and I inherited them and small breasts and I also inherited that. Other physical characteristics that I inherited where her long strong nails, good veins (they love it when they have to get blood from me), her prominent cheek bones and her high forehead. When I was young I was told that I looked like my father – as I have gotten older most individuals will say that now I look more like my Mother.

She was a character and I think some of you think I am too. So instead of this being a weepy blog on how I miss her and what she has missed out in my life – it is on how I celebrate her and those quirky things I do because of her.

First you should know that my Mother loved life – she was the ultimate Pollyanna and the glass was always half full. I am not as free a spirit as my Mother was; but, despite all that she was extremely responsible. Her family came first, she managed money extremely well and it was important to her that she always looked pulled together. She had an incredible work ethic – and very much enjoyed working, even when we moved to the suburbs she did the “coffee clique” thing for just a little bit and then went and found a part time job working at a department store. She always needed to be busy and to have her own money. One of my Mother’s phrases regarding a woman having a job and earning money was,
“there is nothing worse than having to ask your husband for money to buy underwear”. She was a feminist before her time in asserting that all women needed to provide some income for themselves.

By now I am sure you realize that my Mother was an incredible housekeeper. Our home was always clean and she believed in each of us having chores – from the time I was 5 my Mother stood me on a crate and taught me to wash dishes. To this day I tend to wash dishes by hand unless I have several people over for a meal. At the same time she taught me to iron. I started with the small things: my father’s handkerchiefs, underwear, t-shirts and later graduated to larger items. Friday nights will find me ironing my clothes for the upcoming week – for me it is a form of relaxation. We could not leave for school until our bed was made (and NOT going to school was NOT an option) – I make my bed every morning as soon as I get up. We washed, dried and put away the dishes each evening after dinner, then swept and mopped the kitchen floor. I do wash, dry and put away the dinner dishes each evening; but, I admit I do not sweep and wash my kitchen floor each evening.

The fun things that she did with us would probably not be done today. For example, she is the one who introduced us to liquor – it was not taboo at the time to take a sip of your parent’s drink. From my Mother I sipped Rum & Coke (her favorite), Pina Coladas and Singapore Slings – to name a few. When we lived in Puerto Rico my father worked evenings – he hated pasta so Monday nights was Pasta night for us. We would have elbow macaroni with beef and my Mother and I would split a bottle of wine. I am not a big drinker (I never have been) and although my Mother introduced me to liquor she also had a healthy respect for it and that is what she wanted to instill in us.

My Mother also smoked (didn’t all of them back then). However, I don’t think she really wanted me to – I will not forget her way of teaching me. We were in the grocery store and my Mother wanted a cigarette – per her she had no matches or a lighter with her; so, she asked me to please go to the car and light her cigarette. Being the obedient daughter that I was I said sure – well I go ahead and press the lighter when it pops, I place the cigarette between my lips and as I press the lighter to the cigarette I inhale. BIG MISTAKE. I now had a throat full of burning smoke. From that day forward I never touched a cigarette again.

So what made my Mother quirky – here are some of the things she believed in or would do:
1. Do not let the New Year catch you dirty - so every New Year’s Eve my house is spotless
2. Do not let the New Year catch you in something old – I always have a new nightgown for that evening
3. Should you on New Year’s Eve spill some liquor while pouring a glass – that means those that have passed on would like a drink too – fill a glass for them and place it in the corner of a cabinet
4. Twice a year empty all your closets and draws; clean them out and rearrange things
5. Decorate for every season – I still do this and my great nephews have grown to appreciate it
6. Always match – your outfit to your shoes to your handbag – I still do this one too (even my underwear) AY VEY!!!
7. Game shows – she would watch them each day, Password, Match Game, Jeopardy – and I do too
8. Breakfast for dinner – we loved having oatmeal for dinner (again on a night when my Dad was working)
9. The first time she was asked to wash the meat for dinner by her Mother, she washed the meat with soap and water
10. She loved to dance and was not ashamed of moving her hips – unlike myself I am a little self conscious of my hips
11. She was a great at knitting and crocheting we always had new sweaters, ponchos and every baby in the family wore a sweater outfit that she had made – unfortunately I never picked up those skills from her; my sister has
12. We were always dressed in a new outfit for each of the major holidays – everything matching; hat, gloves, dress, coat, shoes and handbag – my first trip on a plane I had on panty hose (although back then there were no pantyhose so it was a garter belt and nylons). Okay how many of you remember those days???
13. Every school year we had new outfits, shoes and on the first day of school she would take us to buy our supplies
14. The same would hold true for the summer – we would get about 5 new outfits; I do that now for my great nephews
15. She believed in doing your best and trying to be a perfectionist – there was no homework turned in with an eraser mark; it had to be done over – I can’t tell you how many trees I have killed to this day by having to have a paper be exactly perfect
16. When I was in the second grade and it was determined I was having a hard time comprehending what I was reading – my Mother would have me read a story each night and then would have me talk to her about what I read. Now, I am able to read quickly and understand and contain information for years
17. Lastly, in the 6th grade I was pulling all A’s in each of my classes except one, Science – it has never been one of my favorite subjects; but, every time the teacher would spring a quiz on us I would get nervous and need to go to the bathroom; but, wouldn’t ask permission to do so. I had told my Mother what was going on – on her next Parent/Teacher conference she told my instructor what was happening – after that he would have me go to the restroom before the quiz and I ended up with A’s in that class too.

Lastly, each of us has a song or scent that we associate with a loved one, for my Mother the song was “Shimmy, Shimmy Koko Bop” as she would sing that to my brother and the scent was Shalimar – she always wore that whenever she was going out.

I am sure that each of you has stories you can tell about growing up and what life was like with your Mom. Thank you for letting me share some of my stories with you and celebrating the woman she was and the woman I have become.

Love You Mom.









Little Anthony & the Imperials

To Save or Not to Save

I am writing this for a friend of mine who I hope will be very proud of me. This week I went through all the documents on my computer and I filed them in their proper folders. So, BIG DEAL - You ask why will she be proud of me?

I am notorious for throwing things out or deleting them. You all know that I am a clean, neat freak so I could not stand to see more than 100 or so messages in my mailbox – nor was I ever good at creating folders on my computer and placing the respective documents in that folder. Part of my reason for not doing this is that I always had individuals who worked for me who were fanatical about saving everything. I knew if I ever needed something I could go to them and they would provide it no matter how many years ago it had been created. Needless to say this friend took the brunt of my always asking if she had a particular document, presentation or email message. And she always did. Thank You, Thank You, THANK YOU.

Now, I am a lone individual in my department with many projects going on – I cannot depend upon someone else having the item and/or having the right version of what I need. I now have a filing system for my work computer.

Every vendor has a folder and in that folder there are additional folders to reference projects, programs, or documentation. I have a projects folder that lists every single facility, building or room that we are working on and the respective quotes and floor drawings are all in that file. I am able to immediately get my hands on either a quote or review a floor drawing with the vendor, the client or my boss if we need to creatively reduce the budget on any one of our projects.

I also have gone through and removed the multiple versions of a presentation or document that I had and just keep the “final” version, latest revision or the latest dated one. For example; last week I was working with the Visual Communications Industry Group (VCI-Group) on two different letters to send out – we ended up with six revisions of the letter – each of which had been saved to my computer in their folder. I went in and deleted all but the last version – there is no need to keep all the other copies. I did the same with a presentation I had done regarding the Managed Service program I will be implementing at North Shore – I had a version I did in June, another in July and another three in August – I saved the one that said “FINAL” and deleted the others.

Not only have I been good at putting together this electronic filing system; but, I am also NOT deleting messages. I have a tendency to read a message, respond to it; and, then delete it – all to try to keep that electronic mailbox clean. I have been burned in the past by doing this; and, again my saving grace has been individuals who I knew kept every email ever written.

As they say, ‘turnaround is fair play’ – NOW, I am the one who keeps messages and is always pulling them up for my boss and sending them to him for him to address with other individuals. Believe me in the last month those messages have come in handy when we have needed to reference a lack of response by certain individuals and/or departments.

Now that my office computer is all organized – I need to tackle my personal computer. It does have files for everything – you would be very proud that my Blogs are filed under the year and the month of their creation. The file that really needs to be organized is my Recipe file. When I see a recipe on line I just save it to a folder titled, “Recipes”. What my computer does is to save them in alphabetical order; however, I spent a good 30 minutes on Tuesday evening looking for something to bake for our Aqua Aerobics post holiday party. More than 150 recipes later – I just gave up; and instead decided that I would just make my cheese Danish – it is quick (I made it before class on Saturday morning ) and it was still warm by the time class was over and we could eat it.

But having learned my lesson I need to organize it by classifications: breakfast, desserts, meats, poultry, etc. – that will be a system which will be more useful when I am looking for something in particular.

So to my friend – thank you for saving me all those many times. I have learned my lesson and have embraced my computer and organizing my files on it.

You are never too old to learn a new trick.

1 Down, 51 More to Go

The first week of 2012 is over and now there are 51 more weeks to go. Don’t get me wrong I am not one to wish the weeks away – besides at my age they go by fast enough. I just think this week ended up surprising me.

By Monday I was: what day is it, when do I go back to work, I don’t have anything else to do at home. I was one of those people overjoyed to go back into the office on Tuesday and for the holidays to have ended. But, Tuesday was slow and I was itching to go home; and, at least be able to read a book – but, with a meeting scheduled for late in the day that wasn’t going to be feasible.

Then Wednesday became a whirlwind and that is the way it stayed for the remainder of the week. I worked from home on Wednesday and I defy anyone who doesn’t feel that they are more productive at home than in the office. I sat down at 7AM and did not stop working and responding to email messages until 6:30. I never stepped out of my house except to throw out the garbage and collect my mail from the mailbox.

All my projects are coming to a head at once. I spent my time red lining an SOW (Scope of Work) and sending the changes to my vendor; I was reading a second contract and SOW; and, lastly I contacted all the facilitators of our video sites to see when they could have their equipment checked out by my vendor. AND, Wednesday was my nephew’s second anniversary and Ryan’s 10th birthday. Both which had me calling to each of them to say Hello and congratulate them. But, I felt extremely accomplished and overjoyed when my facilitators were each getting back to me immediately. Wow – looks like the site surveys and equipment discovery will be successful. I also took down the last of Christmas by putting away the candles that are in each window and the Christmas lights that flank the windows in the living, dining rooms and kitchen. YEAH!!! Back to normal.

Thursday things continued to be busy with vendor meetings and a site survey at our new facilities which we are supposed to move into by February 1st. For our department 2012 is going to be an extremely productive and aggressive year with most of my projects due to be implemented and running by the end of the first quarter. NOW, you can understand my heightened anxiety. What is great is that my customers/clients are clamoring for the services – I don’t have to convince them that it is good for them. The difficult part is the legal/procurement process – I can’t have any of these items get stuck there and I will need to be creative, cajoling and all those other words to work through the minutiae.

I was also due to have the boys on Friday night into Saturday. Since I would have Ryan I volunteered to have the family over to celebrate his birthday. In our family it is tradition that the person celebrating their birthday chose what they would like for dinner; Ryan’s choice was pork chops, mashed potatoes, corn and apple sauce – I offered to make that for him on Friday since Matt (my niece’s husband) isn’t necessarily fond of pork. Having settled that then what would he like for dinner with the family on Saturday – he chose Mexican. Now I could make my grocery shopping list.

Friday morning found me at the gym for my training session with Jennifer, then heading to the grocery store to pick up dinner items for Friday and Saturday and all the other things I have in the house for the boys. Even with my list I picked up some things Ryan likes (watermelon, goat cheese); but, ended up forgetting the black & white cookies. Oh well. Home with everything in the refrigerator and cabinets. Now to log on.

Darn!!! A fire that I need to respond to within the next hour. On the telephone for 45 minutes trying to understand how I can provide three (3) options to our Executives for video conferencing in our new offices in mid-town Manhattan. I needed to see how we could re-configure the rooms and/or what equipment (second monitor, less microphones, etc.) I could remove. I managed to get that done and off to my boss – we then discussed it before it went on to our CTO. Now time to write that message to our legal department and explain the costs of the contract and services I need them to review and sign off on by January 20th. Okay I will tell you right now – that date is NOT happening.

I need to start cooking as my nephew just called and said that he and the boys are leaving; BUT, call from my boss. Unfortunately, that call went on until a little after 5 and Gerard with the boys arrived. I had their toys out so no big deal they were able to entertain themselves while I got dinner going.

I can tell you that Ryan enjoyed his dinner both evenings – if you were wondering Mexican in my house consists of guacamole (homemade), chips, salsa and Nachos (also homemade); then a dish I call Mexican lasagna, chicken and shrimp fajitas. He told me that I was the best cook – now I won’t disagree with him; but, I know he is wrong because I have eaten what some of you have cooked and you are phenomenal cooks. But, I will TAKE it.

I am afraid that the next few weeks will be the same spurts of being busy and reacting and then some lull time. That is what is wonderful about work – being able to manage the deliverables, my time and balance it with home life.

Remember: New Year = Balance.

Reflect Before Resolving

First and foremost, Happy New Year. At midnight last night we all welcomed 2012 in a variety of ways and many of us were happy to say good-bye to 2011 or so the Newscasters tell us.

You each may have made a New Year’s resolution or resolutions at the stroke of midnight; but, can I ask you how you made them, what method did you use, what thoughts went into them, are they the same as last year? I am currently reading a book, “The New Year’s Quilt” by Jennifer Chiaverini; and, yes it happens around New Years. In this novel the woman does not believe in resolutions but in reflection – she does so because her stubbornness kept her away from family for over 50 years and now as she is older she reflects on many of her previous actions and tries to ensure that others don't make the same mistakes.

And that is what I was getting at – did you reflect on this past year before you made your 2012 resolution(s)? As I look back at last year the first thing that came to mind is that I have been writing this blog weekly; I am amazed because I have never kept a diary or a journal before - simply because I couldn’t take the time to write things down. But; because of you who read it, comment and share with others I continue to write and I “thank you” for your continued support. As I reflect on this past year there have been many changes in my life – all of them GOOD. Am I lucky – YES and NO – we create our own luck; and we make the best of what has been given to us; it was just accepting the changes that were occurring and making them work.

Changes began at the beginning of the year as I had fewer responsibilities in my job; and, then it was eliminated – the change was good as I now work for a company that I am very proud of, in a job that I know will change people’s lives for the better.

In August, I started watching my great-nephews in my home mainly because I had central air and a backyard where I could put a small inflatable pool for them to stay cool. It gave me an opportunity to know them better because instead of just being with them for the day – I also had them spending the night. I was able to cook for them, play with them, and gauge their moods; but, most importantly I have been the recipient of their unconditional love.

What am I proud of having accomplished? I have now been consistently exercising four times a week for the past three years; although I am not skinny and probably will never be. I am stronger, more agile and flexible than I was 20 years ago; and, when I saw my Doctor on Tuesday my blood pressure was 122/78. I began today, the New Year by taking a KILLER Zumba class; but, feeling wonderful when it was over.

I continue to read a couple of books a month – one for total enjoyment; and one to increase my knowledge on any given number of subjects.

I tried to be there for my family and friends – I assisted my nephew-in-law in finding a job by just passing on his resume. I helped our administrator (who worked through a temp agency) re-write her resume and she will become a permanent employee on January 9th – these aren’t big things – they are small gestures in helping others and the end result is that they prospered.

So in reflecting in a year that had its highs and lows – it mostly had highs; but, did they happen on their own or did I assist it? I certainly took responsibility in getting my new job. I daily looked at Linkedin, updated my resume, sent it out to various jobs; and, lastly responded to an inquiry placed by a Headhunter on Linkedin. If you are considering a career change or are looking for a new job – consider using Linkedin to its fullest – social media DOES work.

As I look at what I would like to do in 2012; I have mentioned this before, I want to do some traveling. There are a variety of places I would like to see and there is no better time than the present. The one thing I have not done in a long time is volunteer. Yes, I donate to a many charities; but, it is not the same as when you give of yourself and your time. I need to look into an organization that I believe in and that I can be of value – so stay tuned to see what I end up doing. Or do any of you have any ideas for me?

As the year begins, I want to leave you with this quote which I have taken from a friend’s Facebook page – as I read it, I think it is a mantra that should be said each morning; and, if I knew how to needlepoint as I would place it on a tapestry and hang it in my home:

I Choose ...
to live by choice, not by chance;
to make changes, not excuses;
to be motivated, not manipulated;
to be useful, not used;
to excel, not compete.
I choose self-esteem, not self pity.
I choose to listen to my inner voice,
not the random opinion of others.

Aren’t those wonderful words by which to live 2012!!!

So in 2012, I wish you health, happiness and prosperity.

The Magic of Christmas

Christmas is for children. To see the joy in their faces and the astonishment in their eyes as either they have a wonderful time with you or they receive an unexpected Christmas gift.

This past week I had the joy of seeing this magic up close with my two great nephews, Ryan and Callum. They are of different ages; Ryan will be 10 in a week and Callum turned 3 in August so you can understand that it is a bit difficult to find things that is enjoyable to both boys.

On Monday we went to Rockefeller Center and had breakfast with Santa. Ryan had gone last year and he was looking forward to it again. He bought his skates so he could skate on the rink underneath the Christmas tree. There is always a bit of a line while we wait for them to open the doors to breakfast; but, once inside everything is very efficient and the servers are extremely pleasant. Ryan immediately went for the fruit; and, instead of having hot chocolate with whipped cream he opted for tea. Callum who is still deciding what he will eat had his cereal and played with his etch-a-sketch.

Next came the platter of scrambled eggs, French toast, sausage, bacon and hash browns and there was Ryan tucking into a good helping of scrambled eggs, bacon and hash browns – he was trying to eat fast so he could go skating. But, he had to wait until Santa came. Before Santa there was his elf giving out stuffed elves and reindeers; Ryan was grateful and Callum was into his etch a sketch as he told the elf, “Me color” and turned down the gifts.

Then the BIG GUY came – Ryan will always ask if it is the “real” Santa. He still believes in Santa Claus and our response is that the real Santa is very busy getting ready to deliver presents on Christmas day; but, that many people help Santa and are his representatives on Earth. He was happy to let Santa know what he wanted and now to skate on the rink.

We put on his skates and onto the rink he went – happy to be skating on one of the most famous ice skating rinks in the world at the most magical time of the year. Meanwhile, Callum continued with his etch a sketch and being a very good boy at breakfast.

When we walked back to the train station Ryan wanted to know if we could go again next year – he thanked me for having a wonderful time and for my taking him. That is a Christmas gift in itself to me.

Do we know how to torture the boys for Christmas or what?? Both Gerard with the boys and I arrived at my cousin’s house at 10:30 for brunch – Ryan was told that we could not open the gifts until after brunch. Well we didn’t eat until 12 noon – we cleaned up the brunch dishes and then started giving out the gifts.

It was great to watch Ryan’s face as he opened gift after gift to see that everything he had put on his Christmas list he received, even a model of the Titanic. Callum liked ripping the paper and was most excited about seeing his “Blue’s Clues” shirt with his name on it and a Leap Pad. But that was it – he preferred being a boy and doing some rough housing and showing his personality.

Each of us received items that were on our list; as well as, things that were a total surprise. Our dinner was wonderful – it was a traditional Puerto Rican meal and we had a good time as a family playing a game, setting the table, eating together and then wishing each other well as we left for our respective homes.

Everyone said “thank you” for their gifts; including Callum, and I am always proud when the boys show their respect and manners.

I hope each of you enjoyed your holiday, carried the spirit of the season in your hearts; and, most importantly, captured the joy of the season like my great nephews did.

Is It Christmas Yet?

This time of year it is supposed to be frenetic – the malls are supposed to be packed, I should see Christmas trees on everyone’s car roof and tons of little kids lined up to see Santa.

According to all the newspapers and television reporters this is turning out to be a banner year for holiday shopping? Where???? I haven’t seen it here in New York? Or do I shop at the wrong time? Okay, granted I finished my Christmas shopping by Halloween and I did 99% of it on line so I would not have to deal with the crowds; but, there is the occasional item that you have to pick up at a store.

For example, we did “Adopt-a-Family” at work for the holidays. We received information regarding our family and what they needed. A couple of Fridays ago after my workout I went to Kohl’s – it was 9:15 in the morning and in the parking lot I could count the number of cars that were there. I quickly did my shopping running down the list of what each child needed in clothes and then I added a toy; for the mother bathrobe, pajamas, slippers and then a hat, glove and scarf set. Now to checkout – I usually dread checking out at Kohl’s because there is always a line; BUT, “what to my wondering eyes do I see” an empty checkout line. I was the only individual on the line. As my niece would say, “WOO HOO”.

But, this is what I mean – Kohl’s has decent prices, they were running a sale; AND, I also had coupons which were sent to everyone within this store’s radius to use. I have been there in previous years for holiday shopping and it has been a ZOO. The line is unbelievable and you can stand in it for 30 to 45 minutes to pay – which I do not think is worth it. So what is going on this year?

Last week I got a small sense of crowds and lines when I went to Pier 1 to pick up some holiday forest potpourri and candles that Siobhan wanted for the house, we were having the family and friends annual Holiday party. There was a small line (3 people ahead of me) at Pier 1 for checking out and the store clerks were quite busy with customer inquiries – that was the first that I had seen crowds and a line.

I was in Home Depot about 2 weeks ago and again I was able to find what I needed and to go to the Self Service checkout and walk out in minutes – but, once more I did this during the week and during the morning. I have noticed that as I drive by on Saturday and Sundays they seem pretty full.

Another parking lot that has been very full is Barnes & Noble. I have been there the last couple of Saturday and Sunday mornings. I usually do two (2) things while I am there – look for a book (James Patterson’s “The Christmas Wedding” was my latest purchase) and I will treat myself to a bagel and a venti non-fat latte after my hour workout. The parking lot there is a mess – then you have people cutting you off. Is everyone getting a Nook for Christmas? Since when have bookstores become so popular??

And finally what to me is a sign of the season is everyone who has gone to purchase or cut down their Christmas tree. Usually it starts on Thanksgiving weekend when I notice the tree on the roof of people’s cars; but, honestly this year I can count on one hand the amount of cars I have seen with trees. Are people no longer putting trees up for Christmas? Has it been too warm to think about cutting one down or selecting one from a lot to take home? With the temperature hovering around the high 50’s/low 60’s I can understand that a Christmas tree, hot chocolate with marshmallows and “A Christmas Story” on television just doesn’t feel right. We are supposed to have cooler weather for the weekend – I am just wondering if this last week before Christmas everyone will go into panic mode?

The weather should have nothing to do with how we feel for the season. This is a time of giving, of wishing each other well and of contemplating who we are and what we have done. I lived in Puerto Rico for six years and even without snow Christmas was a very sacred and celebrated holiday.

I hope that the Broadcasters and newspapers are correct and that people will enjoy a better time this holiday season. Perhaps we have come to realize that our actions and what we feel in our hearts is greater than any gift we can give. At the same time, don’t lose the traditions that make the holiday yours and your families.

To all of you who read this blog; Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas and Happy Kwanzaa. May the riches of the season be yours.

The Power of Music

I love music – although I have to admit that I do not have a love of all kinds of music – I tend to stick to one type of genre but I do try to be accepting and willing to receive all types.

Why do I bring this up – I do so because there is POWER in music. Have you ever felt it – have you ever used it to give you that POWER? I know, you are thinking – “Toni has been hitting that eggnog a little too hard”; but, I haven’t - - hear me out. Last Sunday I left for Zumba at 8:45 and class begins at 9:15; I have to admit that I am not always motivated to get up, get ready, eat breakfast and all the other things I do before leaving the house for class in the morning. There are times when I just want to lay in – but, I don’t.

The first 5 to 10 minutes of class can be a bear; BUT, then the music kicks in and the beat challenges me to start moving, doing jumping jacks and TRXing. All of a sudden I am soaking wet and waiting for the next song that will have my heart pumping and me jumping. That is what I mean about the POWER of music – the ability for it to transform your mood, to get you moving and to transport you as a being to a time when you are capable of anything.

A couple of weeks ago there was an article in my local newspaper discussing ways to navigate through the mall while doing your holiday shopping. It gives all the rationale information like:
1. Have protein and fiber for breakfast
2. Dress in layers
3. Take cash, not credit cards and make it large bills (you hate breaking that $50 or $100 bill)
4. Shop for the lower priced items on your list first because once you buy that big ticket item the rest of the dollar signs have no significance

And the one that surprised me the most:
5. Listen to your own iPod and not the mall music.

Why you wonder? Well accordingly your iPod probably has very upbeat music that you probably use when you workout. The Mall is circulating Christmas Carols or Holiday Music which actually happens to be a little depressing – as it said, listen to the lyrics: (1) “I’ll be home for Christmas if only in your dreams” or (2) “All I want for Christmas is you”. And, as you listen to them you become melancholy, depressed and tend to spend more money while you shop. Now there are a few songs that are upbeat like, “Jingle Bell Rock” or “Here Comes Santa Claus”; but, they are somewhat the exception.

I use music to get me through things – I listen to the radio each morning as I drive to work; I like a local station Fresh 102.7 because there is nice banter between the two DJs, there is a trivia game (you know I am nuts about useless information) and they will talk about their everyday lives while playing the current hits. Currently on the way home I am listening to Holly Music on Sirius XM – yes, the music is a bit mellow; but, it enables me to relax and not get on my road rage as I drive home sometimes in traffic.

It is true Holiday music can evoke some melancholy feelings and it has you think of people you are missing or hard times that others are going through. There is one song that absolutely always has me sobbing when I hear it “The Red Shoes”, this is not just a song, but, it is also a book and a movie with Rob Lowe. The story revolves around a little boy whose mother is dying and he wants to buy her these red shoes for Christmas so that she wears them when she meets Jesus. My heart always breaks (as it is now) because I can remember my Mother during her last Christmas with us all of us knew that there would not be any other celebrations with her. So no matter how happy or angry I am when that song comes on tears are streaming down my face and I am hoping that the drivers near me can’t see.

At other times I like to listen to Broadway, Motown or Frank Sinatra era music all of it to ramp down my day and to have me enter my time at home – my haven. What do you do to help you re-enter your other life away from work? I know when I rode the train home from the city some folks would read the newspaper, book or fall asleep – each took them away from work; and, hopefully placed them in a calming mood. There is a need for us to transition from one aspect of our lives to another.

The key is what tricks or habits do we use to take us from our work persona to our home persona, or put you in a mood to face the world or to give you that bit of confidence – nothing like “I am Woman” to make you feel superhuman.

Use music to transport you, transform you and empower you.


1 I’ll Be Home for Christmas – Kim Gannon, Walter Kent and Buck Ram
2 All I Want for Christmas is You – Mariah Carey